warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(Source: wartortles, via africandad)

"She lives the poetry she cannot write."

Oscar Wilde  (via lactique)

(Source: sunst0ne, via c-linic)

6ood:

My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

(via africandad)

promiscuous-petal:

enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes

(via bluishpurplepink)

lubricates:

lubricates:

PEOPLE WHO MAKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR STATUSES ON FACEBOOK A TEXT POST FROM TUMBLR AND THEN PRETEND LIKE THEY CAME UP WITH IT MAKE ME SO MAD

image

are you fucking kidding me i literally JUST posted this

(via africandad)