minimalyzed:

replacing my heart with another liver so i can drink more and care less

(via ohbadfish)

silentshivers:

literally how does anyone not believe in aliens

are u really so anthropocentric that you think there are millions and billions and trillions of light years of the ever expanding universe but we’re the only life to possibly exist smh

(via sarcasticsarahh)

analish:

nash really grinds my griers

(via sarcasticsarahh)

unimpressed2chainz:

idk why ppl act like funny women are a rare precious commodity when every woman i know is a got damn comedian and i’ve met maybe two intentionally funny men in my lifetime 

(via dearmickeylou)

slaglady:

*puts slight effort into my looks at work (re mascara, eyeliner, tinted lip balm)*

Coworkers: YOU LOOK SO GOOD TODAY! OOOO~ DOES SOMEONE HAVE A HOT DATE? WHY ARE YOU SO DRESSED UP FOR? WHY DONT YOU EVER DRESS US FOR US ALL THE TIME?

Me: Uh, I had extra time this morning.

Me internally: I don’t try for yall cuz there is lit no one here to impress, so I use the extra time to sleep cuz you bitches exhaust me.  

(via dearmickeylou)

grim-doll:

ottermatopoeia:

mattniskanenseyebrows:

OCTOBER IS NEXT WEEK

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OCTOBER IS THIS WEEK
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OCTOBER IS TOMORROW

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(via dearmickeylou)